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Thursday, February 19, 2009
Reacting with Fear
Through most of my sober years, I have been able to meet life on life's terms well enough to experience many of the gifts AA has to offer. The past several months, however, I have been struggling. The saying, "It's not what happens to us in life that matters, it's how we react" is kind of ringing in my ears. I am reacting with fear much more so than usual. Of course, I think no one else can possibly understand. Some experience, strength and hope, please.
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A coincidence----------- this past week or so all the meetings I have attended touched on the fact that the best way to overcome fear and anxiety is to work with another alcoholic. At first, as usual,I greet this with a closed mind.Ok, ok, I think. Sounds good, but that's too simplistic.I have come to find that that is what works best--------simplicity.
I think grief tends to shake my faith that there is a merciful higher power. I can think of all the reasons why a loved one should not have died and have doubts that there could be any mercy involved. Sometimes I have even compounded doubt by adding all the other evidence I have of events happening without perceivable reason, falling deeper and deeper into negative thinking. In the program they say fear is lack of faith. Usually if I can stay in the present, keep active, concentrate on what I have to be grateful for, and get out of myself by helping someone else those feelings subside and the fears gradually lessen.
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