AN INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT

From my 1880s meditation book: "When we do our work in the great present...we are like to Him with whom there is no past or future...We walk without fear, full of hope and courage and strength to do His will, waiting for the endless good which He is always giving as fast as He can get us able to take it in." G. Mc Donald .....sent by 12 Step Jan
To our Readers: If you would like to share an inspirational thought or a saying that perked your ears at a meeting and helped your recovery, please send it to hngbook@gmail.com .

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Thanks AA

I want to express my gratitude to AA and my Higher Power for 29 years of a brand new life.
On Feb 26 1981 I walked through the doors for the first time, full of doubt and arrogance, but I could feel the hope in the room and I stayed in spite of myself. Thank you AA and all my fellow travelers.
Last night at a meeting someone told how she felt when she got to AA. " When I got here I was living in Tucson, but was using a map of Phoenix." That about sums it up for me too. Lost!
Michael

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Little Man in the Big Book

The changes that happen in the Big Book when I am not looking (that is, while my book is closed) never cease to amaze me. Is there a little man in there who goes about making up new material while I am not looking? You know, like the little man in the refrigerator who turns the light on and off. Case in point. Last night at a Big Book Meeting we were reading the story on page 421, "Window of Opportunity". I have read that story several times, but this time we read a sentence I have never seen before. It is on page 423, at the bottom. It says: "I realize how true it is that one of the primary differences between alcoholics and non-alcoholics is that non-alcoholics change their behavior to meet their goals and alcoholics change their goals to meet their behavior. " How very true that is. have often thought that, but never put it into words that illustratees that difference so succinctly. How did I miss that?

I remember when I was attending graduate school , I always stopped at a bar after class to quench my thirst. One day as I looked into the mirror behind the bar, I thought, "This school gig is getting harder and harder. I have to do something about it. Either I have to stop drinking or I have to stop school . You guessed it; I stopped going to classes.

I am very grateful that today I can make choices in a new and sane way.
Michael N.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Promises


It's Sunday. I'm in Miami Beach, FL, and it is a beautiful place to be. My times for business were good and so was some time with friends, and the party atmosphere was everywhere and finally a little hard to take. I even met a new friend in the surroundings. However, they are all earth people and not an AA among 'em. Although I can't figure out how to post a photo (maybe that's a good thing because it is an image of striated blues of the ocean peppered with whitecaps and would make my fellow Ohioans jealous). With the help of my laptop and the hotel staff I made it to a Sunday noon meeting. The subject was PROMISES and a lead was given, and comments made afterwards just like at home. One of the comments mentioned the party atmosphere of Put-in-Bay, Ohio, being like that of South Florida and yours truly could relate. People greeted me as I entered the door of the Sober House, and I liked it. The fellow who put his hand out first told me about his experience, strength and hope and welcomed me "home" and "safe" from the outside influences. Together, we went over the first two words of Step One, something new for me, focusing on WE, of course, and then, ADMITTED. Have I admitted to my innermost self that I'm still obsessing about the drink and what other people are doing with it? Maybe not. At least not until today, when even after a few 24 hours in the program, I'm still obsessing. I called my sponsor and left a voice mail at this person's suggestion. I haven't heard back, yet, so maybe the voice mail was at the wrong number, or not received yet, as she is out of the area in the winter time, too. I liked being at AA today. I need to do that more. Promises, promises, I need to admit that I don't follow a program as well as I should do. I'm glad I'm here. Sun and a little warmth help move the sloth out of my system. And also, I wrote a poem for another group that I thought might apply here - maybe I can get the photo in now.

Lake Erie’s frozen over,

according to the news,

for the first time in fourteen years.

Although I have no memory of our shallow lake

last year,

I believe this report

and prepare to view

an icy glitter as my flight

departs.

It’s still dark; feels like jet lag and I

Remember anxiety and depression this time, last year.

Today, I experience an absence of fear.

Besides, as I proofread this, I’d already gotten out of there.


Friday, February 12, 2010

MEDITATION

A real winter in Arizona with record breaking, cool, wet days has sent Michael and me hiking in the surrounding mountain parks for our daily walks and meditations. Clouds and snow define the mountains' multiple crags and layers which are usually flatten to silhouettes against the bright Sapphire sky. Those mountains, drawn closer by a new perspective, seem to dwarf us as we walk the ridges and valleys of the foothills. Sounds are muffled except for the bright jingle of snow melt flowing in branching arteries through the dry river beds, locally called "washes" (an ironic name, I used to think, until I witnessed my first rainy season out here.) The beauty of these forces of nature remind us of our humble position in the long term of it all.

When I first came to "The Program" the concept of meditation was beyond me. How do you meditate? What positions to take and what "oohhhmmmm's" to say? And what good would it do anyway? Since childhood I had been familiar with daydreaming much to my teachers' annoyance, but meditation seemed much more formal and a lot more work than that. A person in the program I respected enough to ask suggested I just take a walk and try not to think about anything. What a concept when my troubled mind was racing constantly. At first I could only get a few moments of quiet in my mind; then I was off and racing again. When I complained to the person, she just said. "Practice." When later I told her it didn't work, she just said, "Patience." And finally the day a spontaneous thought came to my quiet mind and gave me an answer I needed, I excitedly ran to tell her and all she said was "It keeps getting better."

Today I can achieve that state of open-mind meditation walking among the snow bright mountains of Tucson or doing mindless acts like mowing the lawn in Cleveland or working in my garden. It feels very close to daydreaming except thoughts are generated by a force beyond me which today I am comfortable calling a Higher Power. Sometimes there are revelations, but generally meditation just brings a peaceful feeling that the the world and my life is unfolding just as it is supposed to and I do not need to understand all of it.