Not sure where I'm going with this one, but I felt the need to check in.
I think I'll share my "Winter Sponsor" story.
My Sponsor leaves for the winter months for warmer climes. Leaving me to fend for myself for what seems to be forever. In actuality it's about 6 months. Used to be less, seems each year to get longer and longer. Her ultimate goal is to not be here in Ohio at all.
The first year I did not get a back up. I made it through pretty well as I have a great support group of women I can go to.
The following year, with prodding, I got a winter Sponsor and kept the same one for the following 2(?) years. Last year Sheila got sick and then had surgery so she was basically unavailable to me for many weeks so it was back to the support group, emails and phone calls to Arizona for Sponsorly support.
This year I decided to look for a replacement. So I started early, back in the spring I came up with a list of about 5 women with long term sobriety that I know well and would have liked to use as an interim Sponsor possibly leading to permanent when my Sponsor moves for good. Over the next few months for one reason or another they dropped like flies. So again I was back at square one.
One day I was at my regular Thurs. speaker meeting and Bob S. was speaking. No biggy. Until.... He said "I became a child of the night". From that point on he told my story. I couldn't believe it.
I stewed on his lead for a few weeks and then took my idea to my Sponsor. I asked her what she thought of my asking him to be my winter Sponsor. I totally expected her to say no way. But in typical spiritual fashion her answer was " He's a perfect match for you". I was flabbergasted to say the least.
So my next move was to explain the situation to Bob and then pose the question to him. I fully expected him to say yes right away. He did not! He said he'd consider it. That was in July. Thankfully I had time to find someone else if he decided not to accept me. Cut to the end... He finally said yes in early Oct.
Since then we've been working together. I've been making a concerted effort to call even when things are going ok. We meet once a week to talk and we're really getting to know one another on a more intimate level.
I've been asked by some people about having a male Sponsor, don't I feel like a hypocrite? You know men with the men etc. For me this is what works. I am well past the point of needing the pat on the fanny from anyone. I've been in a committed relationship for 19 sober years.
I believe in providence. Bob has already helped me more than he could know just by being who he is.
Now all I have to hope for is that Bob will say yes when I ask him to become my permanent Sponsor. I fear that my Sponsor will sell her house in Ohio this summer and bail on me for good. (notice it's all about me!!!)
Moving forward in the program is not always easy. Especially when it's not our idea to do so!
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