"Ism"

Today I had the courage to step on the scale. I wasn't surprised. I knew I had gained weight while here in Arizona. Now, what does this have to do with Alcoholism? It does because even though I am not drinking I still am an Alcoholic. The "ism" is still in my life. It is with me 24-7. In this situation it reared it's ugly head and after weighing myself I started beating myself up and being angry with myself. This is nonproductive! In sobriety I learned to be a responsible person. This includes my body. When I was drinking I abused it with alcohol. Today I try to take care of it. This includes eatting healthfully, exercising, getting physicals when I am supposed to and going to the dentist, etc. I think I left the first two back in Milwaukee. I honestly appraised the situation and I don't think I am using food as a drug. I think it is simply that because we eat out here more than at home in Milwaukee and the fact that there is just too much good food here. Now, what do I do about this? I still am not sure. Well, I do know . . . eat less. It really is simple but as an Alcoholic I am complicating the whole thing making it insurmountable in my mind. Also, I guess I am not ready to commit to it yet. So, for a starter I am praying that I will become "willing" to commit to a "diet". I will also work the program with this admitting I am powerless and that my life is unmanageable. I will focus on believing that a power greater than myselt, whom I choose to call God, will restore me to sanity. And, I will turn this problem over to the care of God. In the mean time I will love myself and accept life on life's terms. I am thankful that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is a " program for living" and that, in addition to my Alcoholism, is there for me to use for all the challenges I face in my life.