Monday, November 30, 2009
Thoughts for Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is the start of the holiday season for me. I become very emotional this time of year because I get lost in the large (loud) family gatherings, hate the commercialization, etc. This is also a time of "great" reflection to the Thanksgiving's of the past. I'm feeling torn today - a part of me is feeling great because of AA and the other brings me right back to the lonely isolated times of drinking. This will be my first sober Thanksgiving and the fear, expectations, etc. of the past can consume me if I let it. One thing I've learned from AA is to prepare myself. I know my stinking thinking so it's time to armor and immerse myself in AA. I am so thankful for AA to help me "live life on life's terms" and to keep it one day at time. I know I will struggle but with the tools of AA in my belt I can only succeed.
Thankful in Ohio!
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2 comments:
Holidays are a challange even to those who have already experienced them sober. Try to have an escape plan from any function that may turn toxic. Take a walk, take your own car, take your cell phone and call an AA friend. Be kind to yourself.
Sue,
Ditto what verge and michael posted.
All this new stuff we experience in our first year sober can seem overwhelming, but we can/do get through it all. My first sober Thanksgiving and Christmas were without ANY family members, because I had no contact with them for my first six months. I went to meetings every day, and to coffee and called my sponsor and spent hours talking to two new friends with same amount of sober time I had, and went to bed physically tired, not just emotionally drained. I used things like, "God help me to get through this sober," and, "I just want to wake up sober tomorrow and see what it feels like," and...THANK YOU...just plain THANK YOU. I hope for you that you will focus on your own experience these days, as it happens, and not so much on what we others share. This is your trip, not mine, and I don't want you to experience your first sober holiday season based on any predictions you've gotten from me.
Finally, it is normal to get a little crazy, to experience fear, to experience whatever...it is not something to feed on or chastize yourself for. A 180 degree turn in direction can be a tad whelming at first.
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